Album Of Songs No​.​1

by Jon Horne

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released August 1, 2007

all songs © Jon Horne 2007

sung and played by JH, Whitby, 2007


all rights reserved



Jon Horne Whitby, UK

Keepin' it largely fictional in the pubs and Pavilions of Whitby since 2004. Vocal, guitar, noisy songs with stories and tunes.


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Track Name: A18 Revisited
It's only so often you get nights like these
So don't you dare go and waste it
Refinery lights, and salt on the breeze
You almost can't bear to taste it
A mist rolls up the river
With the smell of burning embers
It stays with you forever, I remember

It's not a simple 'you can never go home again'.
'Cause how come I'm here on the road?
And even if summer has come to an end
The sweat's pouring off in a flood
So I wind the window all the way down
As the local radio takes up the sound
It stays with you forever, I remember

You can't do a thing 'cause it's nobody's fault
And if you can't point a finger, there's no point at all
The road keeps unwinding for mile after mile
And you might just as well keep on driving all night

Years ago in a Ford Corsair
Your hero's the lad in the back
Waiting for the sleep in his eyes to clear
And rubbing the crick in his neck
The cigarette smoke is blue in the sun
He asks how far and they say: "Nearly home"
And a day can last forever, I remember
Track Name: 1969
That summer we were meant to go to Ireland
Newry or Newcastle, I can't remember where
On the ferry from Ardrossan
To walk the misty mountains
Or whatever people do when they are there

But when the first bombs went off in Belfast
My father said, I'm sorry son, we'll go another year
Instead we drove down south
To the country of my birth
And went to see my Grandad who lived there

We pulled up at the rest home for the aged
And found him in a corner in a worn-out easy chair
It's probably the last time
That I saw him alive
He was eighty-five, give or take a year

We crossed the fields one blazing August morning
To see the Flying Scotsman on its final fare-thee-well
I watched as it flashed past
And gave its whistle one big blast
I don't know why I remember that so well

My brother says that year was a nightmare
He got ditched by his girlfriend and evicted from his flat
And "All you need is love"
Turned into "Rivers of blood"
Biafra, Ireland, Vietnam, and Israel saw to that

But in the east wing of Worksop General
A woman had a daughter on the 21st of June
And if 1969
Was shit most of the time
It's still my favourite year because that daughter was you
If 1969
Was just a waste of time
It's still my favourite year because of you
Track Name: Snow Song
sometimes you are snow
six sides on a plane
nothing looks like you do
nor ever will again
in the company of billions
just far enough away
from the earth to stop you melting
in the heat of the day
..... we are just water anyway
..... we are just water anyway

sometimes you are iron
from the middle of a sun
thrown out by supernovas
to the vacant space beyond
your poles attract another
and then countless more besides
and you coalesce together
till you fall, burning, from the sky

sometimes you are carbon
in the prehistoric mud
sometimes you are salt
dissolved in a prophet's blood
sometimes you are silver
sometimes you're just tin
but you'll never again be nothing
and there may not be an end
..... we are just water anyway
..... we are just water anyway

you can waste yourself on whisky
cocaine and wine
you can kneel in supplication
or believe yourself divine
you can chase a thousand women
or give yourself to one
..... we are just water anyway
..... we are just water anyway

sometimes you are ashes
in a little pewter jar
taken to the seaside
and scattered from the pier
catching the east wind
and blown back in the face
of your widow and your daughter
then away without a trace
..... we are just water anyway
..... we are just water anyway
Track Name: Fantoni's Farewell
"Pardon me, dear madam,"
he said, folding up his clothes.
"Could I have a glass of whisky
Or something? I don't know...
I'm twenty five years old
Not that you should care
But if anyone should look for me
You can tell them I was here

My name is Giovanni
People call me John
You can call me what you like
I won't be around for long
From Tilbury to Hong Kong
On the Princess Caroline
And if I reach Australia
I can leave this mess behind

I'll be down in the engine room tomorrow
On the Princess Caroline
Of the Royal Danish Line
And if they want to find me, they can follow

I could say I didn't do it
But I stood and watched him fall
Then ran for all I'm worth
Which in truth is bugger all
And I'm waiting for the call
Of the man I called my friend
He can warm a place in hell for me
When my time comes to an end

I can't seek forgiveness
I'm worth no one's prayer
I saw the red light by your window
And now I'm lying here
But if I get to Australia
They won't see me for dust
I'll catch a train to Alice Springs
And I can think of bigger things

I'll be down in the engine room tomorrow
On the Princess Caroline
Of the Royal Danish Line
And if they want to find me, they can follow"
Track Name: The Night That Tommy Cooper Died
He takes a drink and stares at the mirror
Tries to picture how the routine went
A dab of greasepaint, a pad of powder
Another drink and a cigarette

I came home to a deathly silence
You could have cut the air with a knife
Is this life, or a game of patience?
Jenny said, then she started to cry

Some young double act playing for thrills
Dancing girls in their leaves of gold
He's feeling old but he's top of the bill
The TV's here and every seat is sold

Ten minutes sir, says the assistant
Call me in an hour, he replies
Jenny's eyes stared into the distance
On the night that Tommy Cooper died

She said, I'm leaving now, that's for certain
Can't you see I've got my suitcase packed
He falls back into the fire curtain
And everybody thinks it's part of the act

It was Leonardo Da Vinci's birthday
And Joe Davis, king of the cue
Henry James, turning the screw
And Bessie Smith, the queen of the blues

I watched the telly while Jenny left me
I heard the mini cab revving outside
I didn't know if I should laugh or cry
On the night that Tommy Cooper died
Track Name: Arcadia Street
I don't know if the roof will stay on this place tonight
Rain's coming through on the kitchen floor
Scandinavian wind howling off the sea
(Has) blown a hole through our back door

And every hour we listen
There's no news today
So we just talk about the weather

Now they've drafted in the T.A. and the riot police
Loud-hailers call my name
Everyone's on night-shift, no one else can sleep
Eyes front, it's Judgement Day

Up on Calvary Hill, see them kneel and pray
In the name of all that's good
I'll just cross myself, you do the same
And wait for Sunday

Blow, wind, do your worst
Flow, river, flow, wash us all away
We'll still talk about the weather

They can look down on us, see if it amuses them
Try and break us if they can
Take this all away, we'll still be here
Knock it down, we'll build again

Blow, wind, do your worst
Flow, river, flow, wash us all away
We'll still talk about the weather
Track Name: Lions In The Morning
A hand like purest porcelain
And a burnished silver ring
Whispers in the dark
Could mean almost anything
What happens in the shadows
Is just to set the scene
Time flickers on the radio

Dragons on the river
And taxis on the bridge
everybody's watching
As she waits to be kissed
The ghosts of long-gone lovers
Step out from the mist
And take their hats off to each other

When the lights of evening fade
And the season comes of age
And there's still another hour till the dawn
If there's any more to say
Continue over page
And I'll meet you by the lions in the morning

Onward to the pantomime
Played out in evening dress
I think we've lost the sheriff
Says the Lady Mayoress
No one else is listening
Except me, more or less
And St Mary's bells are ringing

When the lights...
Track Name: Cathedral
Nothing here is sacred
This is still my creed
Buy a basket from the weaver
Set it down among the reeds
Drop a pebble in the water
Lay this stone on solid ground
Now look into the sunrise
There's work to do

You never have much time
And you work for no reward
From daybreak to darkness
It puts you to the sword
The corn won't sow itself
And the plough hits solid ground
It's a lonely old life
When there's work to do

And the work that you do lasts every day
And your everyday work leaves nothing to show
So bend your back, one last time
And lay down this stone

When you look into the mirror
And the room stares back at you
And you're nowhere to be seen
Then you know it's time to
Find the pebble in the water
Polished like a jewel
And at the foot of your cathedral
Is the stone beneath the stone
In the country you made your own
There's work to do
Track Name: Running Slowly
I left this town an orphan
Starving and forgotten
Scared of my own shadow
No more than ten years old
Strangers took me by the hand
I hitched aboard a caravan
The shadows started chasing
And I started running slow

Verse 2
We went where we were needed
Though we were never wanted
They worked us till we dropped
And then chased us on our way
But all the time we laughed
At their scheming and your graft
This road will never stop
Another place, another day

Running slowly, that's what I do
Around the country, and the city too
When you greet me, I say adieu
I'm running slowly

Verse 3
Ten years on this waggon
And once again an orphan
Those who took me in
They're all dead and gone
The one I called my father
He traded skins and leather
Under his beating wing
I learned to be alone

Verse 4
Canals and roads and railways
I will ride them always
As long as I have breath
And four wheels that turn around
You hear me approaching
See the shadow chasing
As I drive my one-horse caravan
Into your one-horse town

Running slowly...

Verse 5
And now I am returning
Now I've stopped running
Happy ever after
Thus endeth my tale
You can make your peace
With your rabbi and your priest
My dogs are on your trail
And I'm a law unto myself

Running slowly...
Track Name: South Kesteven Wedding
The bride's outside smoking a last cigarette
When the organ starts playing 'The Lady In Red'
This is her cue, it's time to be wed
And the Matron of Honour starts weeping

The photographs take the best part of an hour
The best man and bridesmaids tie tins to the car
While the vicar and verger slip off to the bar
There's three more weddings this morning

She didn't want the church, and she didn't want white
She said: "We can drive up to Gretna tonight."
She said: "We can do just whatever we like."
But maybe he wasn't listening

Now it's one for the money that paid for the dress
Two for the chauffeur, the car and the rest
Three to get ready to greet all the guests
In the Masonic Hall in the evening

Champagne is called for and glasses are charged
The best man reads out his speech from a card
The bride's father staggers back from the bar
And says: "Is it my turn yet?"

He coughs, then he barks: "That's one more off my hands
So cheers to the bridesmaids and to the best man
The boring bit's done, now get on with the dance
Is there anyone that I've forgotten?

You know what you get when you pay for the best
No daughter of mine does without a white dress
And I booked their honeymoon by internet
The things you can do nowadays."

"I don't think I've witnessed such a shameful display,"
The groom's mother whispers as it gets underway
The bride takes the floor as the band starts to play
'I Just Called To Say I Love You'

The best man's pretending to sing down the phone
The old ones are starting to make their way home
The groom's in the garden, pacing around on his own
He loosens his tie and starts shaking

It's not easy to dance in a long wedding dress
But she smiles for the public and she does her best
When she finally sits down for a rest
She says: "Where the hell is my husband?"

It's one for the money that paid for the dress...
Track Name: Swaby's Farewell
(instrumental - Fantoni in dub)

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